family:nth much can sae..jux tt i started tuh miss my second sister.!!wen will she be back.??or she's not coming back fur th rest of my life.??wen can i get tuh see eu again or wen can my family get tuh see eu.??eu dun seems tuh care about mum or dad.!!they ve been crying every night fur eu tuh return..eventhough eu ve done th most hurtfull thing tuh them they still anknowleged eu as their daughter n forgive eu fur wat eu ve done!!!dad ve been sick fur almost a week now..first sis,sec bro n third bro doesn't seems tuh take note tt dad is sick!!!even if my mum tuh tell them,they doesn't seems tuh care at all..we never asked money from eu!!wat we need is fur eu tuh ve th heart tuh visit ur own father.!!!even we dun share th same mother..he's still ur dad!!w/o him eu ppl wun be here....even though eu ve a big family wat's th point of having family members who doesn't treat eu liked one!!dun asked me tuh talk tuh 3rd brother..i'm so not into th topic of talking tuh him..

werk:very stress!!!quarell wth faris!!i dun give a damn care tt ure my close fren BF!!!stop being so rude!!i'm not th onli one who complain tt ure being rude!!respected ppl n ppl will respected eu!!everyone tolerates all ur nonsens..enough of him!!training manager stop being such an asshole!!so wat eu can take all those hurting words tt i sae!!stopbeing so nice tuh me!!stop acting!!1st assitance stop bullshitting!!stop all th story which is not true..stop all th acting!!!ure so dramatic!!!RM stop screaming at me!!!i will get fed up werking wth eu if eu kept screaming at me n demanding things which i can't do!!n stop saeing tt i can't quit mac!!my decision ve made n it's time fur me tuh leave n it's time fur eu tuh let me go..i can't werk wth ppl which i can't werk wth!!!unload everything!!!

money:wanting tuh buy so many things n wanting tuh do so many stuff wth my money!!!saving all my ang bao,my pay n my bonus tuh get want i always wanted!!time is v bad!!so ned tuh spend v wisely..

health:feeling pain all over my body..kept injured myself!!n now my left arms is pain!!swallon..my right wrist is in pain too!!all de vain is popopping up!!!my chest feels pain!!one particular dae i felt my stomach acid is burning in it!!it hurts till i cried!!
n this few daes i kept having headache!!it's liked pain untill i can't rili think properly..kept givin attituted tuh ppl!!i need morte time tuh rest!!i doesn't feel liked myself!!!sick sick sick!!!!!i hate eating medicine!!!!

friend:thnx peps fur being there wen i need eu ppl!!all th nonsens n attituted tt i gave eu ppl!!sry tt i do all tt!!eu ppl should noe wat's gg on wth me rth now!!hope eu peps understand!!n thnx XIA fur th advice n th courage!!it's not tt i dun wana tell eu or wana share it wth eu..i jux dun wana trouble anyone..steph if need anything jux asked me i dun mind!!even if i ve my own proble i wun effect my werk or towards eu peps anymore..n XIE said dis tuh me "dun put much hope into dis relationship"

love:whiie is it hard tuh be wth someone tt eu love??tolerates!!!!scarifices!!!untill wen do i or other ve tuh tolerates.???untill wen must we scarifices.???i find tt love is a dangerous word tuh use!!cos by telling others tt eu love them it will either bought pain or happiness tuh eu!!lets put it dis way before eu were together wth him/her both of eu were happily loving each other.but wen th both of eu got together,everthing doesn't seems tuh be th way eu wanted it tuh be.he/she doesn't treat eu th way he/she used tuh treat or sae th words tt he/she used tuh sae now..he/she told eu "will eu regret being wth me.??" cos he/she can't spend all his/her time wth eu!!cos he/she doesn't noe how tuh juggle between his/her werk,sch,family,fren n love life at de same time..n eu told him/her "so did eu regret leting me noe tt eu love me" "regret being with me.??" n th ans was replied "if i were tuh regret,i wun be telling eu tt i love eu" n eu told he/she th same thing..but he/she doesn't rili take noted wat eu ve sent tuh him/her..n on one particular dae he/she felt totally diffirent!!his/her fren asked him/her tuh go out wth them..cos wanted tuh intro tuh 3boy/girls..n he/she agreed wth th fren.den took th number!!he/she told eu tt n eu felt hurt but doesn't seems tuh noe wat tuh do.!!hmmm...n as time past by it's fur family tuh get together n everyone seems tuh be busy..he/she told eu tt "i will texted eu again!!" since his/her phone is low!!but after all th things tt eu did th whole freaking dae n eu started tuh missed him!!eu can't wait fur him/her tuh texted eu,so eu take ur phone n msg him/her..n he/she said it again "my phone is low" "tmr i ____ den i texed eu again"...eu waited n waited...eu wishes he/she,but dere isn't any reply...th next dae eu msg him/her again "take care"..he/she doesn't reply eu again..at night eu msg him/her again "is dere anything tt eu feel liked telling me" no ans again!!!eu waited th whole night till de next dae wen eu ve tuh wake up early moring tuh do something fur a living..eu even cried before gg tuh sleep or wen eu can't even sleep at all!!n till todae eu still kept waiting n waiting n waiting fur he/she tuh reply tuh every of eu msg liked he used tuh do!!at this very moment eu felt liked as if eu were all alone!!eu ve got no pair of ears tuh talked tuh or a shoulder tuh cry on!!n th onli thing tt eu wish was fur him tuh be dere right in front of eu,but he's not!!ure jux dreaming!!!dreaming!!!dreaming!!!even now th words tt eu can hear is "dun put too much hopes on dis relationship" "does he rili love eu??" "n whiie is he doing dis den if he loves eu?" "ve eu ever come across tt he's toying wth ur feeling?" tears run down ur cheek n eu doesn't noe how tuh ans tuh all dis question!!n sometimes eu feel liked eu ve fallen n can never get back up again..but sometimes eu jux ve tuh try n not give up.life is full of obstacles..n dis is an obstacle fur eu.its all in de mind.n its a matter of if eu wanna get back up again or not.eu ve tuh help yourself first before eu find others fur help..if anything brings eu down,dun give up.n dun cry,cos crying wun bring tuh anywhere.it shows tt ure jux scared of facing ur own problem..

Labels: by myself

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So I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

Labels: lucky

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de whole dae of yesterdae werk at DK.!!!v slack!!xia n fiona asked me pei them smoke.!!!almost got caught from WEE!!!todae off!!finally i'm at home..being a good daughter!!i clean up my room so tt they wun complain tt i'm such a useless daughter..ve been nagging about my bill!!!i noe tt it fung till 500plus but i managed tuh pay it OK!!!jux tt left wth 300 horx..so stop nagging at my ear!!!thinking whether i should continue my studies..hmmm...but i dun wana waste it liked i used too..gosh!!!i totally miss him..CNY coming soon!!i will be werking 10hours on 27jan..sux man!!31jan n 1feb will be werking v v late..finding some excuses tuh give them so either i can werk early or can be excuessed!!!n now i started tuh realized tt not all fren is ur true fren.!!some is jux PLASTIC fren...showing sympathy!!!they think tt they ve de money tuh get everthing n eu can't.!!i hate PLASTIC fren..no wonder everyone around him/her is hurtin.!!!should ve some grammiie award fur them!!de best actress n actor.......dramatic!!!hypocrits!!!iwan ma akong mag-isa!!!tt bloody cheena crew making me lumayo ka again.!!shouted at her tuh make her realized things n put some sense tt so wat ure cheena!!!dis is singapore dah dei so please!!!

Labels: mahal kita

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lets begin wth last SATURDAE.finally he came back tuh werk..he doesn't seems happy seeing me.!nothing tuh sae about it..maybe he ve something tuh sae but dun wish tuh make me worrie.saw A&S before i came tuh werk..BOSS told us tuh punch in early but i punch in 11.57am..3mins more tuh noon.!!after tt i report tuh her den i was told tuh open side2.!!freaking hell i do iniciatior n assembler by myself!!de onli thing boss did was complain here n dere.!!den one big thing i did...dun be shock.i point finger at her!!!n she wanted tuh give me warning letter but den i told her tt my first warning letter wasn't given n want tuh give me de sec one???den she made me do alot of thing...den i do batch cooked after came back from break.!!!i did alot of silly things on saturdae!!!my nugget was over cooked!!!i never press timing fur everthing tt i cooked.derick was liked YANI wat happen...n blah blah blah!!!he made me confused n i also forget wat i'm doing..wanted tuh cry but i controlled!!!went back home after werk...dun feel liked mention wat happen wen on my way back...


sundae werk moring 9am..tot he will talked tuh me but...hmmm.....black face was given by him!!control my anger!!!punch in den tt suresh asked me do DK!!!den set up everthing...i run tuh kitchen..help batch cooked egg..!!!tada i down everthing...den everyone wasn't happy!!den i jux scream n sae which fucking idiot do batch cooked egg???still dun product...den BOSS was liked saeing dun scold vurgal can???i replied her i'm scolding myself n not other ppl so who cares.!!!after tt went DK!!!customer in liked siao.but i jux stood beside noreen act liked dere is no one dere...got scolded fur tt...den i went back tuh my station!!!borrowered pen from everyone!!cos wanted tuh write something tuh pass it tuh noreen...den later got pissed off den cuiping came den i went fur break...alot of things need tuh be done before gg fur break!!!SUX!!!!!!did rili eat much!!!not in de mood!!!den after werk i went tuh talk tuh suresh.i did sae something horrible n BOSS scolded me fur tt!!!n she wanted tuh give another waring letter fur scolding manager vurgal!!!den i was liked=___=.....everthing i did dis few daes was wrong..shit!!!


mondae which was yesterdae.i werk moring 7.30 was late wen punching in but wasn't late fur werk..puch in le need tuh do alot alot alot alot of things...den do kitchen!!fiona came den we do kitchen...almost screwed up everthing!!shouting which is which product...ah!!!sux lah rili...den msg him...blah blah blah!!!!went back home after werk..suppose tuh clean de house!!!but i was too tired n feeling sick so i went tuh ve a short nap!!den around eving he texed me..den dunno wat i reply him!!!den he msg me back...he talked about sch werk saeing tt it's hard!!!den i wasn't in de mood n everthing..so i jux reply him oh ok..no nothing yah ok.!!!den went gg tuh sleep tt time he ask whether i ve something tuh ask him or tell him before he go sleep..den i jux sae nope,he replied back rili..den i sae yah..fall asleep already...sleep soundly !!!


todae!!!hahax..SLACK!!!!setup DK!!WAHOOO!!!!bought my phone along wen werking..hahahax..den msg him..n fiona!!!craps they kept saeing can use phone wen werking mehx den i sae i not werking i'm slaking n i jux wrap my phone wth tissue n put in in my shirt..den they tot is kotax lah!!cos i told them i wasn't feeling well...hahahax...me n sha was playing around runing about..hahahax...went fur break aunty treat me eat!!i was liked feeling v full after eating everything..grwthing FAT soon!!!after tt do DK fur a while n was chase tuh go kitchen...den do liked siao play around!!i'm being good n clean everwhere..sweap n mop!!!haha..leaving my station again n again..not rili alot of customer lah!!punch out den went bugis wth tilaga..shop fur some stuff!!hahaha...



HIM...thnx fur tellin me wats on ur mind!!dun keep me in de dark again!!voice it out!!!maybe by letting it out eu might feel beta.??i will be dere tuh hear every probem tt eu ve.!!even i can't help much especially now,tt ure having family problems..at least i did my best tuh hear ur problem!!a problem is never tuh big or never it can't be solve.!!it's a matter how eu put de problem n how eu handle it!!!it's beta tuh change it now den later..time is v short n it's precious!!eu might not noe wat's gg tuh happen tmr,de dae before or an hour later..treasure ever moment tt eu ve!!dun be sad!!!cos sad will never bring eu tuh solve de problem..comfort her!!!be dere fur her!!make her smile liked how eu make me n de others smile..she needs eu n ur family now!!tuh her maybe eu dun understand dis problem cos it's an adult thing ure still a kid..but at least eu did ur BEST tuh be dere fur her rth.?talk tuh her,sms her or call her..tell her not tuh be sad cos life is not always UUP!!!life ve tuh be up n down..i noe it's hard fur her.!!but tt decision tt she made it isn't tt good!!i noe tt i dun rili noe de FULL story..i duno how tuh help much cos it's more tuh personal thing...i'm someone outside i shouldn't be involed.!!i onli can give eu advise.!!!PLEASE take care of yourself..dun be sad!!!eat somthing wen eu feel hungry..dun stuff urself..it will be another problem if something happen tuh eu...

Labels: stay together

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thnx fur small lil celebration n even de small lil cake!!!haha(: my wish oso got about fren lah!!!not him onli..think i'm tt selfish mahx.??haha..ve been gg tuh werk late!!gosh!!den yesterdae was totally late,damn late..J was liked asking me whiie am i late den called phone whiie never ans...den i give her my stupid looked n yawn in front of her face..den she nothing tuh sae le...haha!!!J asked me again am i rili gg tuh quit mac.??den she sae yani whiie quit wen ur stand of following procider is dere!!!den i LOLx at her!!dunno how tuh reply her..wants me tuh stay or go tuh hereen!!craps den if i were tuh transfer out i can't get tuh see him lah!!!hmmm...YEA!!!!i'm super happy!!!finally i can get tuh see him again!!!great!!!tot i can't see him..my mind was thinking need tuh wait till CNY tuh over den can get tuh see him..BUT....2more daes!!!den can see him again!!!hahaha(= dis few daes he kept giving me tricks on de msg saeing things which make me worries n sounds liked a mother!!!den lastly he appologise tuh me!!!idiot him!!den sae tuh him tt i'm gg tuh smack him squeeze him n bite him!!!den he sae tt i forget tuh put love him oso!!!OMG!!!!!i ve already turn 20!!!freaking old now!!!must think properly already!!!need tuh be busy wth my MIO tv!!!tmr doing cafe wth SHA de opeing beanie ME m shift XIA de m2 shift n n n dunno who do closing beanie!!!

Labels: loves, me

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hmmm..it ve been almost a week i never updated my blog.!!ve been very busy since de dae he went tuh sch..more focus on dis MIO tv at home n his reply.!!after werk went back home..den suppose tuh write warning letter.!!den dunno whiie they stiill haven't gave it tuh me..actually got two,all involved violences.!!but they think one should be enough fur me.!!but who cares about warning letter.??i dun even bother tuh think of wat had happen..hmmm..tt's about werk!!den about fren..i jux dun understand whiie lah huh...they dun wana eu tuh noe de thing but they talked it in front of eu!!it's liked WTF!!!if dun wana other ppl tuh noe den dun talked about it in front of de person lah!!!it's rili very irritating eu noe.!!but wat i can sae it's all up tuh eu ppl lah!!wana tell me or not tuh tell me!!i can't even force eu ppl tuh sae oso..it's ur thing..dun wana me tuh get involved i'm fine wth it oso!!doesn't ve tuh crack my brain or worrie about anything.!!jux worrie about myself n my problem!!he ve been complaing tt sch is boring..haven't start studying!!talked about small kids thing n tell small kid story..den haha his head in now BOTAK!!opps sorry!!gosh wondering how he looked liked!!den de food!!everydae eat fish fish fish!!hahax..he ve been counting down wen can get out from sch.!!left wth 2more daes den can come out.!!den 3more daes tuh star sch...haha..dear so poor thing!!!hahax..come singapore must feed eu already lah!!hmmm...he will be werking onli saturdae n sundae!!!at least got werk den never werk lah!!everydae having long hours in sch..it's liked more liked army tuh me den sch!!from moring till night..den his sch damn far lah at pasir gudang!!far far far!!now he findin place tuh stay..todae he got medical check up but now eating mac...dei tmr is liked my birthdae!!20th birthdae!!old already!!!ADULT le!!!den todae i'm doing closing fur cafe!!gosh!!den i ve no idea mondae i wana go out or not!!nobody seems tuh care either whether it's my birthdae or not!!!but..hmmm..fur wat worrie rth???it's jux birthdae ever year can celebrate..i ve tuh go now tuh hunt fur my bag!!

Labels: ure officialy mine now

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wat i am suppose tuh sae..im feeling very down dis few daes..feeling very unsafe.???it's jux feeling n de thinking..i jux don't know wat tuh do..should i cry or should i smile???should i sae or should i not sae.??liked wat stephaine sae tuh eu it's beta tuh hurt me now den later!!!n i rather get hurt now n not later..let it be before i turn 20 please!!!!eu told me eu love me eu liked me n eu needed me....n i belive tt but..............how can i take it wen eu call someone else wife n tell someone tt she is ur wife??tuh make it easy YES indeed i am jealous!!n i noe i liked tuh imagined things..it hurts me but i dun wana let it out!!!i rather hurt myself in dis relationship den lettin it out!!!n i scarred tt i'm hurting eu by leting eu noe how i feel n play de devil one!!de msg de tune n de tune eu talked tuh me...i'm feeling very cold about it!!!in my dis situation i dun think every of my close fren is ought tuh noe wat's gg on between us.!!how do i prove it tuh them n wat should i do.???let it be tt nothing is gg on between us??gosh!!everyone noes tt eu still ve her in ur heart n not me!!!it's de same goes tuh de story of romeo n juliet...everyone noe who is juliet n not rose mary!!correct me if de name is wrong.!!it goes de same tuh me too...everyone noe who is stephanie n not yani!!!i'm sorry!!i think i'm over reating bahx.??i think too much..n I LOVE EU so much!!nothing is gg tuh happen!!i wun let eu go or wateva shit i ve tuh be wth eu!!ure my everything..eventhough ure tt far away!!i LOVE EU !!!!!!

















I never felt nothing in the
world like this before
Now I'm missing you
& I'm wishing that you would
come back through my door
Why did you have to go? You
could have let me know
So now I'm all alone,
Boy you could have stayed
but you wouldnt give me a chance
With you not around it's a little
bit more then I can stand
And all my tears they keep
running down my face
Why did you turn away?



So why does your pride make you run and hide?
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it's a lie what you keep inside
This is not how you wanted to be



So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don't know what else I can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life...

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just ain't true
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do
I'll wait for you




It's been a long time since you called me
How could you forget about me
You got me feeling crazy
How can you walk away,
Everything stays the same
I just can't do it baby
What will it take to make you come back
Boy I told you what it is & it
just ain't like that
Why can't you look at me, your
still in love with me
Don't leave me crying.



Baby why can't we just start over again
Get it back to the way it was
If you give me a chance I can love you right
But your telling me it wont be enough



So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else I can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just ain't true
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do I'll wait for you



So why does you pride make you run & hide
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it's a lie what your keeping inside
That's not how you wanted to be

Baby I will wait for you
Baby I will wait for you
If it's the last thing I do


Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just ain't true
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do I'll wait for you

I'll Be Waiting..

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